I was sitting, waiting, wishing

… love Jack Johnson. But I do not love waiting.

Even though I know I am taking huge steps toward my future, I still feel a bit like I am on a treadmill.  Everything is on pause.

Waiting to hear if I got into the summer session of classes or if I will have to wait til the fall.  Waiting to hear more about financial aid options.  Waiting to figure out how many classes I will need to take – waiting on transcripts to be received.  Waiting to hear what courses from undergrad will count towards this to see if I can for go a couple of courses.

And waiting to figure out what my schedule will be in order to be able  to tell what hours I can work!

Just a LOT of waiting around.

Hopefully patience will pay off.

I know tomorrow one wait will be over FINALLY.  The new laptop should be arriving by 3 pm tomorrow.  Completely cause for celebration.  Back to normal again.  No waiting for updates on the iPod.  No waiting to transfer photos from the camera.  No more waiting to figure out the account balances by having to wait for transactions to clear online.  Yes I am addicted to quite a few things, like Quicken, Photoshop and iTunes.

Keep reminding myself it will all work out soon as long as I do what I can then sit tight and keep wishing.

The Dare – Student Edition

Caffeine has nothing on enthusiasm.  Another day wide away before I need to be.  Just too excited to get going to the next phase.

Virgo: Travel plans that you have been working on for a while are finally taking shape now. Or, perhaps, you’re enrolling in an educational program, making your upcoming journey a mental one. Either way, you’re at the threshold of a great adventure and previous resistance continues to fall away as Mars in your sign gains speed. Fortunately, you receive an extra boost of help today from the practical Sun-Pluto trine, so focus on a single goal and work to make your dreams come true.

Sounds like I am right where I need to be.  Love it when you do something because you know its what is right for you & then you end up getting all these confirmations that you are exactly where you need to be.

Yes its slightly scary to take the leap, but I know now I have wings & with the effort, I will soar.

End of another chapter on the resume.  May seem slightly sudden, but its been coming for a while.  I am feeling wonderful about it & ready to start working towards my next phase in life.   The experience was valuable.    So the application is in, transcripts are on their way and my FAFSA is in the works as well as plans to get by for however long this ends up taking to build the dream.

I’m putting my money where my mouth is & walking the talk.  If you only live once, there is no reason to wait a moment more to reach for the dream.

Also time to be slightly realistic & make a plan!  So the plan. (yes… again the Virgo is going to try to plan!)  This time I am less afraid & more focused on getting through the tough times to where I want to be.  I am in a holding pattern til I can confirm if I will be starting school in the summer session or the fall.  Also need to confirm on the financial aspects.  The age old do I do the student loan question.  I have never had one before, but this time I don’t expect anyone to pay for this but myself.  My parents and both sets of grandparents were kind enough to bless me with my bachelors degree.  My PHR was paid for by a former employer.  These building blocks certainly are paying off & I am truly lucky to have had them.  Now to use them to grow on.  Sure scholarships & grants would be great but most I have found are for undergraduates and single moms.  (PLEASE feel free to alert me to any that I may qualify for in the comments! I am very open to working on getting them & if your lead pays off, who knows I may reward you.  Don’t get too excited though I will be a college student on a budget!)

So again the plan, or the challenge I am setting for myself:

  1. Work out at least 4 times a week 30 minutes
  2. Keep waking up by 9:00 am for at least 5 days per week
  3. STUDY!  No sense waiting for classes to begin learning.  Time is now.  Learn vocabulary, concepts, forms etc.
  4. Improve typing speed
  5. Live on $100 a week (But I am changing the rules on this one)

Each week I am going to limit myself to $100 per week to eat, entertain myself, etc on.  This will not include bills, gas, medication or pet expenses.  It will include clothes, food, going out, all that extra stuff.  Again there is a way to add to the amount!  Achieve in order to get more.  Reward system.  Budget living again, but with hope.

As before – Any food in the house or anything given to me won’t count cost wise.  Also I can and will find ways to earn cash. Still resolving not to touch the 401k!  To add to the weekly allowance I can gain some extra cash flow by earning it:

  • For every application for a scholarship, grant or employment I complete & submit = $1.00
  • For every hour I volunteer = $1.00
  • For every interview I go on = $1.00
  • For every extra 30 minutes of exercise beyond the 1st 4 sessions per week = $1.00
  • Each day I track over 10,000 steps in a day = $1.00
  • For each book I finish = $1.00 for each book, $5.00 for anything related to the law field.

So back to the plan.  Tracking everything I do.  My life is my job.  For now at least.  I still am doing the catering service and actually am working a wedding today.  Perhaps with the increase in film production locally lately, I will find myself doing extra work again soon.  Once I get the green light on classes & can figure out my school schedule, I can get a better idea on what hours I can work.  Then its job hunt time.  But for now I am not sure if I’m going to summer or fall session & not 100% confirmed where I will be studying.  So a lot is up in the air.

I’m beyond excited.  Feels 100% right for me.  Can work in a field where again I am helping others.  Law school could be an option down the road, but I believe I am more into the research and administrative assistance side.  Not sure I would be much for the public speaking in a court room.  This way I get to be part of the team & support in the efforts but get to stay out of the limelight.  Completely know the value of support.  Reminded how much of a gift it can be as I do this with the support of friends & family.

Not alone and not accepting defeat in this fight.  Time to grow.  Time to prove myself once again.  Time to survive and thrive!

I’m open to any advice or suggestions that you have.  Please feel free to contact me if there is anything to share.  Encouragement, advice, links, all completely welcomed.

Now I’m off to search for scholarships and read a little before I am off to assist with making a bit of magic for a happy couple (& getting a great workout, food & my next paycheck!).

So this is daybreak

I’m not a morning person.

On any given day, I am the one who can sleep in the morning as long as possible & then be the zombie that shouldn’t be spoken to til after 10 am if its important.  Caffeine is not optional.  So why at just after 6 am did I suddenly fine myself wide awake? perhaps it had something to do with not taking the ambien last night, but I have a hunch its a bit different – for the first time in a long time I am truly inspired.  Ecstatic to chase a new day from beginning to end.  See how much I can pack into it.

Recently I realized that the things that I have loved in most jobs I have had & the conversations that really ignite me are the rules, the justification behind those rules & defining or in some causes redefining them.

One of the main things that attracted me to the Human Resources field is that sense of order that policies bring.  I believe all people have the right to do things the way they feel best, but as society or organization, we need to define those boundaries to some extent.   Give someone a goal & the rules of the game then let them go.  You may just be inspired by what you see!  The communication and negotiation of expectations is vital to group harmony.  As is ability to recognize differences & the value they bring to the common good.

So why didn’t I make the connection before?  Guess it wasn’t time.

My Dad asked me this week if I had thought about going back to school to get specialized training.  My initial thought was forget that! I was lucky to make it out once!  All the tests, homework & deadlines…. and last time I checked it took money not brought it in.  I was trying to make ends meet easier not drag them further apart.  But hours after hanging up the phone, I had a realization that maybe Dad was on to something.

Daily seeing resumes come in with various specialized training for positions that just were not available may have me a bit jaded when it comes to technical training programs.  Some schools are in the business of selling their services and in this time of higher unemployment, it can be an easy sell.  Without jobs to enter into to use that training though what good does it do?

There is value in being the master of one, rather than the Jack (or Jill) of all trades.  Especially when you are fueled by passion rather than just wanting to cash in the paycheck at the end of the day.

So today I begin my journey to chase a dream.  Today I look for scholarships, grants or potentially my first student loan ever.  Why? Because I am fueled up & on a mission.  I know now where I am meant to be.  I also know that before now, I wasn’t ready.  Maturity and all the experiences before needed to come before, but now I need to find my way in.  Make it happen.

Law.

First steps find the funding & the training.  Ideas are in place and contacts for advice and information has been made.  Transcripts ordered and admission application submitted.

And there isn’t an inkling of doubt in my heart that this isn’t what I am supposed to be doing right now.  For once in my life I can truly say – there is no fear, only trust.  I will find the path as long as I open up to it & take steps forward, even when those steps are scary.

So today I begin.  I am committed (perhaps should be committed may be what some are thinking) and I am dedicating myself.

Broken free from all restraints holding me back I dive.