ebbs and flows of the green

Whoever said money is the root of all evil was on to something.  Not exactly calling it evil, but it sure does cause problems.  Getting it, keeping it, sending it where it can do best.  So many choices to make along the way.  So many decisions that seem to be made for us.

Tonight I spent sometime figuring out next month’s budget (I know geek – but I live alone & on a single income you gotta make it work!) and trying to figure out how on earth to afford all the things I want and need in life.

Its no secret my laptop broke.  As much as I am trying to deal, I am lost without it.  Nothing is as it was before and as much as it pains me to be so dependent on a machine, I am addicted.  I miss the ease & being able to photograph and edit.  I miss blogging with more ability to post.

In time.  I’m working to make it work, but honestly I don’t see how people do it.  I’m focused on a luxury item.  Daily I see people who struggle for necessities.  How lucky I am to have what I have, but still I want more.  I’m expected to do more.  By having a steady paycheck, more is expected, from myself & others.  Is it so wrong to wish I could keep up with american life and build a savings?  The beliefs on what we should be able to afford and what we actually can seems to have a gap.

I see it not only in my own status, but in most people who are honest.

We juggle cost of living, cost of health, cost of sanity and cost of desires.

This weekend it seemed every where I turned money was causing stress.  The need for it, the required spending of it or the desperation to save it.  Expected or unexpected it flows all around us.

Sometimes we just have to ride the wave to where it takes us.  We can tried to steer but what will be will be.  Most we can do is be prepared as much as we can.  Maybe we can grab a board and make the most of it, other times all we can do is hold our breath as we go under and try to avoid the rip currents as best we can.