Welcome back

Sometimes you have to return to where you were to realize how far you have come.  This weekend seems to be one of those times.

Like yesterday I spent the day with my parents around town.  So much has changed & yet not changed.  Had lunch with mom at a local greasy spoon that I remember going to as a kid pretty often.

Seems NOTHING has changed there.  Same seats, same dishes & even same waitresses.  Which makes me think they must enjoy their jobs.

I want that.  I want a job I can love.

I got the job I interviewed for Friday, but honestly I already hate it with a passion.  I hope that I can get it together to present a smile Thursday when I go in to start, but I want to run screaming already.  I was ready for low pay – not that low.  I was ready for crazy retail hours – but not 3 am unpacking shifts.  I was even ready for a dress code – however I was not ready for khaki & black – collared polo.  No.  I was really not ready for all of them combined.

1st who wears khaki polos?  …ok OFF a golf course?  Might be ok if I could do a black polo & black pants, but nope has to be black polo & khaki pants OR khaki polo and black pants.  I own the black pants, but nothing else in that dress code.  So now I have to spend money on clothes I am going to hate for this crappy position?  and NO ONE I know looks great in a khaki shirt.  I certainly don’t have the skin tone to look good in it that close to my face. yuk. Not to mention where is the sense of creativity? No where in that big box store that is for sure!  Once again, local businesses seem ideal.

I know the experience will teach me something & I have done it all before, but I also feel like I have grown into a new person since then.  In a lot of ways this feels like I am taking giant leaps backward.  Why did I even accept the position?  Just to have something.  A chance at a check.  But this is insanity.

Looking at the interview, I don’t have a clue why they offered the position to me.  I made it clear that I would be looking for another job due to the low pay & that this would need to be a temporary thing until I found something else.  In my experience this isn’t typically the ideal candidate since you will be rehiring soon in the future.  Who knows…

I should be grateful.  I should be happy.  I should remind myself that its temporary & that its a chance to gain new perspective and learn from new coworkers.  I should be thankful that I have a team that wants me on it… but instead I have to wonder, will I end up the person who never finds the job that makes my soul soar?  I want to find something I love.  I want to be like the waitress that is still working at the same place 20 years later – because she loves it.

So nice, had to do it twice

Yesterday was one of those rare days lately where I ate at home. Something I have gotten way too out of the habit of since I was restricted with the hand in recovery last year. Lifting heavy pans while cooking was just too dangerous & even washing dishes was difficult one handed. Just too easy to go out or bring home take out.

But then I missed delicious meals like this…


ahh… berries, black eyed peas, dry salad (I know I’m weird) with coconut chicken!  On purple sparkly glitter plates!!

Sure it wasn’t exactly a lot of cooking going on, but it was enough to feel home cooked & healthy.  I loved it!  Something I have really missed, although Wilmington has some incredible spots to dine that certainly have a home feel with the delicious fresh food and friendly familiar faces.  Still getting time to actually sit down and eat a real lunch is bliss.

Its one of the biggest things that got on my nerves with my previous job.  Duty calls and I did the job, but it was a benefit I missed for sure.

So today I put in sometime with applications and submitting resumes and then it hit me…. LUNCH TIME!

Same meal, but I switched it up to meatless monday!  Substituted the Quorn patty from the back of the freezer for the chicken & added in some BBQ sauce to spicy it up a tad.  One thing about living alone is there seems to always be leftovers!

Nothing like having Baxter begging for blueberries & being able to share some with the birds.  A gal could really get used to this.

But then again…. there are the bills.  So more applying, more thinking & budgeting.  I could dwell in the situation & how the uncertainty looms, or I can thrive in the moment & enjoy it for what it is.  A chance to regroup.

I have a sense that things are going to be just fine.  (& yes I realize fine is not always easy, but in the end its going to be ok)

PLUS I get to dream of great places to work…

which may or may not let me have lunch breaks, but for the moment I am loving each & every one of them.

Pugs & Kisses

Remember how I started the Grilled Chicken Sandwich Challenge?

yeah, I barely do either, but last night I remembered while I was getting take out & thought, why not?

Its a HEART! awww

Course this morning I almost forgot it in the fridge!  Doctoring it up didn’t really happen but I did remember a pack of honey & one of barbeque sauce in my desk.  Less than thrilled? So was I.

However the Lemonade Girl Scout cookies were a nice surprise!

Last night a friend & her daughter were selling them & I knew I HAD to replenish the Thin Mint supply.  Along the with Thin Mints I just asked her to pick me out another box of something yummy.  Lemonades it was.  Typically I never think lemon with cookies and at 1st I almost said “pick a different one!” but it WAS her choice, so I went with it.  I brough the box into work to share in hopes to sweeten the day.  So far its only worked on me, but that’s ok.

In case you want to try them, there is a Girl Scout Cookie finder ap for your iPod available at iTunes! Yes I have to admit I  downloaded it after a friend mentioned.  Or you can check this website for them.

Also a few pieces of things I love today.  Since I pulled a card from a fun “tarot” deck I had at the house.   Not sure why, but it was sitting there on the shelf as I walked by & I thought why not?

the Lovers from the Housewives Tarot

The Lovers card.  I’m partially ignoring the obvious since I’m still on the fence about this whole let Shadow back in my heart or keep moving on searching thing.  Who knows.  Time to think isn’t going to kill anyone…  So focus on this other great love.  Baxter.  The pug adores me.  I adore him.  What more can a gal ask for?

my Baxter

its a mini-Baxter! full of knowledge!

I would love one of these for the bedroom redo!  Hoping that Mod Cloth has them in stock then.  It would look cute on a dresser or shelf up against the sage/mint walls.

because, well he does..

I will gladly take the morning Keurig in one of these… especially if its German Chocolate Cake coffee like this morning! Delish!

muwah! pugs & kisses

Also I love this stuff!  I got one for each member of my family as part of their holiday gifts.  Bonus: It benefits the Pug Rescue Network who use the money to help pugs with medical care, finding homes & all that other stuff that seems to come along the way for pugs.