Sweet Tea & Liberty

Hi. My name is Ali & it’s been one week since I took a sip.. of sweet tea.

I also take goofy selfies at stop signs.

I also take goofy selfies at stop signs.

Don’t mean to make fun of AA, but lately I have a new appreciation of the willpower & restraint it takes to give up something you adore just because you know it isn’t good for you.

Of all the things I miss, sweet tea is certainly the one I would love to bring back.

But it just isn’t worth it.

So water it is & occasionally coffee.

Still figuring all this out but so far it has been fun.  Like a daily puzzle. Track the numbers in the food & make it all work.  It’s a good distraction to give me a break from stressing over the love life or lack there of.

Cooking at home & having lots of healthy options ready to go has made it almost easy. Thankfully I have always been a lover of vegetables & who doesn’t love fruit?  There are a ton of great recipes for nearly anything you can think of all over the internet. Discovering a few new ones has been just what I needed.  (like this one.. hummus crusted chicken has rocked my world!)

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The biggest issue so far has been being afraid of eating anywhere outside of the kitchen. Used to just hit a drive thru when time was short. Quick cheap meal on the way to class is what got me into this mess.

Yesterday I found myself dashing from class to the beach & hungry. First instinct was just grab something quick. But I don’t really know what to get. Iceberg salads have never been appealing. Prefer lettuce with some actually taste & nutritional value and that isn’t wilted from being made a couple of days ago. I could blow all my calories on one meal, but that would leave me either going over or starving the rest of the day. I’m sure there are options, but I didn’t have the time to figure out where to go & what was safe.

So I headed home. I took time out to make a hummus wrap & bag some berries that would travel just as good as anything that would come in some greasy bag and was a heck of a lot tastier. I was pretty proud of myself. Just a bit of thought and this all works out.

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Almost.

Didn’t think about the cherries. The pits in particular. A smarter version of me would have brought a spare container to put the pits in. A smarter version of me would have used a reusable container not a plastic bag. But live & learn.

I will get the hang of this.

 

Welcome back

Sometimes you have to return to where you were to realize how far you have come.  This weekend seems to be one of those times.

Like yesterday I spent the day with my parents around town.  So much has changed & yet not changed.  Had lunch with mom at a local greasy spoon that I remember going to as a kid pretty often.

Seems NOTHING has changed there.  Same seats, same dishes & even same waitresses.  Which makes me think they must enjoy their jobs.

I want that.  I want a job I can love.

I got the job I interviewed for Friday, but honestly I already hate it with a passion.  I hope that I can get it together to present a smile Thursday when I go in to start, but I want to run screaming already.  I was ready for low pay – not that low.  I was ready for crazy retail hours – but not 3 am unpacking shifts.  I was even ready for a dress code – however I was not ready for khaki & black – collared polo.  No.  I was really not ready for all of them combined.

1st who wears khaki polos?  …ok OFF a golf course?  Might be ok if I could do a black polo & black pants, but nope has to be black polo & khaki pants OR khaki polo and black pants.  I own the black pants, but nothing else in that dress code.  So now I have to spend money on clothes I am going to hate for this crappy position?  and NO ONE I know looks great in a khaki shirt.  I certainly don’t have the skin tone to look good in it that close to my face. yuk. Not to mention where is the sense of creativity? No where in that big box store that is for sure!  Once again, local businesses seem ideal.

I know the experience will teach me something & I have done it all before, but I also feel like I have grown into a new person since then.  In a lot of ways this feels like I am taking giant leaps backward.  Why did I even accept the position?  Just to have something.  A chance at a check.  But this is insanity.

Looking at the interview, I don’t have a clue why they offered the position to me.  I made it clear that I would be looking for another job due to the low pay & that this would need to be a temporary thing until I found something else.  In my experience this isn’t typically the ideal candidate since you will be rehiring soon in the future.  Who knows…

I should be grateful.  I should be happy.  I should remind myself that its temporary & that its a chance to gain new perspective and learn from new coworkers.  I should be thankful that I have a team that wants me on it… but instead I have to wonder, will I end up the person who never finds the job that makes my soul soar?  I want to find something I love.  I want to be like the waitress that is still working at the same place 20 years later – because she loves it.

So nice, had to do it twice

Yesterday was one of those rare days lately where I ate at home. Something I have gotten way too out of the habit of since I was restricted with the hand in recovery last year. Lifting heavy pans while cooking was just too dangerous & even washing dishes was difficult one handed. Just too easy to go out or bring home take out.

But then I missed delicious meals like this…


ahh… berries, black eyed peas, dry salad (I know I’m weird) with coconut chicken!  On purple sparkly glitter plates!!

Sure it wasn’t exactly a lot of cooking going on, but it was enough to feel home cooked & healthy.  I loved it!  Something I have really missed, although Wilmington has some incredible spots to dine that certainly have a home feel with the delicious fresh food and friendly familiar faces.  Still getting time to actually sit down and eat a real lunch is bliss.

Its one of the biggest things that got on my nerves with my previous job.  Duty calls and I did the job, but it was a benefit I missed for sure.

So today I put in sometime with applications and submitting resumes and then it hit me…. LUNCH TIME!

Same meal, but I switched it up to meatless monday!  Substituted the Quorn patty from the back of the freezer for the chicken & added in some BBQ sauce to spicy it up a tad.  One thing about living alone is there seems to always be leftovers!

Nothing like having Baxter begging for blueberries & being able to share some with the birds.  A gal could really get used to this.

But then again…. there are the bills.  So more applying, more thinking & budgeting.  I could dwell in the situation & how the uncertainty looms, or I can thrive in the moment & enjoy it for what it is.  A chance to regroup.

I have a sense that things are going to be just fine.  (& yes I realize fine is not always easy, but in the end its going to be ok)

PLUS I get to dream of great places to work…

which may or may not let me have lunch breaks, but for the moment I am loving each & every one of them.