Day 12. Resolve or Dissolve

Wondering how long the average resolutions are kept.

Some are broken in hours.  Others days, weeks… but there have to be some that actually become new habits.  Change from resolutions to just everyday life.  There are things left behind without ever realizing we did.  Others come into our lives and stick.  No one says this will be the final page I color, but there is that final piece.  Would we stay a bit more in the lines if we knew? or go all out in reckless abandon filling the sheet on our own terms?  Subconsciously or with thought, we change.

Whether we want to or not.

Week Two check in…

General goalsfor the coming year & next few months…

  • Purge 100 things from my world within the first 2 days of 2012
  • 100 Days challenge – 100 days straight of intentional moving 30 minutes each day - more on that in a second….
  • 10 on 10 – give $10 to a non-profit each month on the 10th – gave to the Cape Fear Literacy Council
  • Read more! - Finished the first book of the year! 48% into the next one and I am loving it.
  • Budget each month prior to the month & stick with it - so this is where all the cash goes…. crap. I need to make more cash or do better at this.

As for the more traditional resolutions:

  • Try one new thing each week – didn’t think this would be so hard to think of new things! Must think up something quick.
  • Cook something each week – I baked. It came from a mix, but I baked.  Thankfully they were not all for me but I did enjoy a couple – quality control of course.
  • Take one photo I love each week – last week, well nothing.  I took pictures. But do I love them? eh. Maybe a couple.  This week… a phone pic from this morning melts me!

oh Baxter! So sleepy, yet I dragged him out early to go get his nails trimmed.

  • Continue my love affair with Post Crossing nothing to report on this yet for the week.  Maybe I will mail out another tomorrow.
  • Floss daily – in all honesty. yesterday, I didn’t floss. today, I did.
  • Meditate more – at least weekly – nope. not so far. When did this go from often to never anyway? Why did I stop meditating?
  • Daily food picture –  366 dishes – I seriously need to eat better & this is proof for sure.
  • Spend an hour with someone else outside of work each week – there are a couple of events this weekend I am looking forward to.  I just feel drained after work & a day listening to people complain does not exactly make me feel like being around people.  Thankfully the parrots don’t talk too much.

So back to that 100 Day Challenge.  Did I work out?  Well, my lazy butt is feeling especially tired tonight.  Thought, well I could do an hour tomorrow since its already so late tonight.  Then…

that came on TV.  I’m not even kidding.  That very commercial.  Divine message?  Perhaps.  Perhaps not.  Either way, it was certainly motivation that I needed.  Had to laugh out loud, shake my head & smile.

So up & onto the treadmill.  Thankfully Thursdays are good nights for TV to distract & the parrots each got to take a turn hanging out while I worked out.  Just 30 minutes.  Nothing spectacular or intense, but its done.  One step closer to that Kindle Fire at the end.

No.  I will not quit on day 12.

Just So Very Versatile

I love feedback!  Especially when its not some spam bot.  When it happens to be positive, I love it even more.  Imagine how much it made my day when I got the notice that I had someone post this!

Thank you so much, Madi!  I sincerely appreciate you sharing this.  (Check her out on her blog – My Story Uncensored)

The rules are as follows:

  1. Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post
  2. Share 7 things about yourself
  3. Pass this award along to a few recently discovered blogs you enjoy reading
  4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award

So here goes! Seven things about myself:

  1. Sometimes I don’t eat the healthiest of meals.  Admittedly sometimes the kid inside wins & says why not have chocolate and wine for dinner? ok I had some beef jerky along side the dark M&Ms… don’t hate me. Tomorrow I will eat a real meal at some point. I promise.
  2. Thinking I have almost forgotten what it feels like to be in love.  The relationship type of caring for someone who cares for you back.  Slightly scared that if the opportunity ever came around again, I wouldn’t even recognize it.  Self protection is a blessing and a curse.
  3. I have an obsession with fortune cookies. Adore them completely & even tried to bake my own when I was a kid – didn’t work out so well.  I always seem to get bizarre ones or ones that are dead on.
  4. Already deep into another ebook and loving it! Crazy how wrapped up in a story I can get. Chasing Rainbows by Kathleen Long is killing me.  Shh.. keep it a secret, but I cried within the first chapter & have been torn between bawling & laughing uncontrollably ever since.  Still a bit pissed that its not recognized by Get Glue since I am loving the story & would love to recommend it.  But I guess I just did.
  5. I am not a fan of several “great” romances.  Romeo & Juliet – teens who die & never end up getting together.  Titanic – seriously was not impressed by anything but the boat.  Sinking into the abyss of the frigid ocean is not a happy ending.  The Notebook – hated it.  Its a nightmare.  Love that she never remembers & he has to tell her daily just to have her forget again.  Maybe I am missing something here, but I prefer a love that last.  Tell me a tale where they end up HAPPILY together ever after.
  6. Although I am only 11 days into the 100 Days challenge, I already feel like its going to take forever!  Really glad I vowed to get the Kindle Fire when I complete the 100 days of 30 minutes of exercise straight or I so wouldn’t be doing this.  I know that 11 days is NOT long & 30 minutes isn’t much, but I have gotten really lazy!  Change is coming soon (I hope).  I enjoy it when I do it, but getting moving is like pulling taffy with tweezers sometimes.
  7. Today is my mom’s birthday & although I saw her this weekend, I am missing her like crazy tonight.  Wish I was there to bake her a cake – perhaps give that chocolate pound cake another go?  Just have to hope that this year treats her well & we get to celebrate again next year with her.  Thankfully the doctor’s appointment went well this week & she is getting some time with her siblings right now.  Also I’m stunned at the rate her hair has grown back since chemo!  She has more body in those curls than I expected & no one can believe how soft it is.  Like a lamb.  So.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!  Make great wishes & know you are loved.

old picture, but this reminds me of how supportive you were Mom as I healed from the attack. Even when I adopted that pug at a time when I was barely able to care for myself. You let me be free & live life on my own terms. Thank you for giving me my wings & still keeping a warm perch for me to rest on.

Now to pick a couple of blogs to share this fun with! I am a blog addict.   The rules didn’t state how many, but I will go with seven.  A few that I never want to miss are (in no order in particular):

  • Ciao Bella – I swoon at the images & always seem to find something I would love or a place I would love to be or something I want to wear, or eat, or be… you get the idea!  Lots to pin on this one.
  • Gluten Hates Me – I’ve known Marlow for a while & saw how she was before she discovered that Gluten did indeed hate her.  Its such a beautiful thing to see her transition from struggling to accept the diagnosis to it just being a part of life.  She has embraced a piece of her that makes her unique & been kind enough to share & inspire others…. & of course she makes me want to cook more often!  Secret: the blog isn’t all about Gluten free life.  She is one cool chick & juggles married life, double puppy momdom, school & working all while blogging & staying in shape!
  • Positive and Inspirational Quotes - I love this spark of light that shines on in dark times to remind us that life is to be lived to the fullest & loved to the end.
  • Life, or something like it –  From the moment I met her I knew this chick has a way with a camera lens, but now following her blog I can see she has a great perspective on life too.  Even with the lens cap on & power off.  Plus she has these amazing curls I would adore having just for a day!
  • the Crystal Chick – a while back I discovered a podcast that warmed my soul.  Two women discussing topics that I didn’t think anyone else talked much about.  the Psychic Teachers became part of my weekly routine.  Each week the hour brought something new to think about & discover.  It flew by and I wanted to know even more.  Felt like they were people I could be friends with and be open about my real self.  Imagine my shock to hear them talking about the place they lived & mentioning places I knew! They live in the same town I do!  Even better is I have had the honor of sitting for a reading with them both (& a very gifted palm reader) and learned they are just as honest and beautiful in person as they sound like they would be on air.  Her blog is both an extension of the podcast and more.
  • Amuse-bouche - I know its a food reference, but I choose to read that A MUSE -bouche.  Not sure why she hasn’t blogged this year – yet, but I love that she takes a picture of herself every Tuesday & is brave enough to post it.  Also enjoyed hearing about her plan to learn to love working out & according to her Tweets, she truly has embraced the habit!
  • Short Jewish Girl - a friend shared this blog with me & although she is a coast away & lives life a bit differently than I, I adore reading her perspectives!  Seems like a woman I could spend a day laughing at life with.

So there you go.  A very versatile post where I seem to go all over the place!

So grateful for readers who care & for other blogs that inspire.  On a night where I got home & felt less than thrilled with the day, I am now smiling.  Now off to put in my 30 minutes of the day on the treadmill and then its going to be a big snuggle session with the pugster.

Oh what a world this is.

Outside of a dog a book is man’s best.

Since adding the 10 on 10 aspect to this blog, I have really started to look forward to the 10th of each month.  Its a chance to just give without a reason or giving myself grief about “can I afford to do this?”, “is there a better way to spend this cash”… nope.  Budgeted & its not my money – its to be shared.  More than that its a chance to support in efforts I care about or are inspired by.

This month I am certainly inspired.

Having just finished a book within a couple of days, I am officially bitten by the reading bug.  Started book number 3 of 2012 – still another non-fiction one that is slowly being read, but another fiction work has sucked me in.  I know reading on the treadmill isn’t going to win any races, but it certainly made that 30 minutes fly faster than ever!

I am so grateful for being able to read.

Its a gift that my parents gave to me early in life.  Teachers who knew that by learning to read, you give keys to life.  So many lessons and secrets that would never be discovered otherwise are found within the pages bound in each cover.  Knowledge, guidance, confirmation and reminders.  Even a space to get away from life..  all discovered in books.  The library was a place where we were very familiar, even before the days where my Dad retired from teaching to work there.  New books were always coming into our house.  So many nights spent together reading “just one more story” before we were tucked in & lights out.

evidently my sister was really excited to hear about the Baskin Robbins adventures

Historically, (WAY back when) I know it was something taught to boys, not girls – since it was more for business and government which was not for the fairer sex.  Now I am lucky enough to live in an era where barely anything is off limits for me as a girl.  I can explore the world equally.

“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.”  ~Sir Richard Steele

Part of me still struggles with reading electronically, but it works.  It is easy & I guess eco-friendly.  But there is a magic beauty to be found in turning a page to find written words there for you to see.

So this month, I want to share the gift.

I want to help others to read.

There is nothing that will ever give me a glimpse into what the world is like for someone who is illiterate, but I know from work that there are adults locally who simply do not have the skill.  It breaks my heart & I have to wonder what life they have had to endure to reach adulthood without anyone being there who was able to connect in a way that they learned.

“Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.” ~Mortimer J. Adler

So my gift this month is to the Cape Fear Literacy Council.

This group works hard to enable local residents to learn to read.  They work with those who are just learning to read and people who are learning to understand English.  They offer a place for everyone to grow in their learning.

What better gift to give right now?

Even when reality seems hard to face, a vacation from the day can be found in a book.

So thank you Mom & Dad.  You have enabled me to go further than you can imagine by taking the time to share with me this love of reading.  I know it probably wasn’t a quick or easy task, but I truly am grateful.

Pulling back the veil

Wild weekend!

But in a good way.  Dashed off to the parents & got to catch up with an aunt that I hadn’t seen in about a year.  Also got to see the almost finished house my sister & brother in law are beyond ready to get back into.  Its so strange to see a place from childhood changed so drastically.  It previously was my grandparents, but now it is uniquely their own place.  Hoping that all the details being them the joy they deserve.  It makes me smile seeing it all come from vision to reality.  They might be ready to scream & wish they hadn’t started the whole process, but its going to be worth it in the end.

The bathroom alone is enough to make me want to move in with them.  But visiting will be nice too!  If they ever get it all finished & get to finally move back in.

I’m struggling to fight the urge to start dreaming up how to make my house more my own.  Giving up on the dream of moving anytime soon.  So much going on, it just doesn’t seem realistic.  Since its just me, it doesn’t really matter.  I hate this place & probably always will.  The neighborhood, the layout & the memories aren’t changing anytime soon.  Hoping my attitude towards them will.  Til then, I do my time.

And dream a bit.

and escape as often as I can.

this weekend it was into a beautiful world filled with magic and fantasy.

I was lucky enough to win a copy of the Grimoire Chronicles: the Veil Between Worlds by Sally Dubats.  For years I have been a big fan of her Natural Magick: The Essential Witch’s Grimoire.  Its a great reference and go to book.  The simple format is easy for a quick read or refresher as needed.  Admittedly, as much as I have loved Natural Magick & enjoyed getting to know her on Twitter, I had to wonder what kind of Young Adult fiction she had made.  Part of me didn’t want to read the book and risk losing respect some how.  Boy was that stupid!  The book is phenomenal!

Forget Twilight.  I don’t need vampires or werewolves,  I want to meet the beings that Sally brings to life in the world of Cassie!  At first I wanted to move in with Aunt Faye myself.  The words brought an image of my ideal house to life and reading the descriptions of the food she made just made me drool.  (I think there should be a cookbook with some of her recipes!) Everyone needs an Aunt Faye in their life.  Hoping if I ever need one, she will appear ready to provide unconditional support, guidance and love.

Don’t want to give the story away, but I will say it NEEDS to be made into a movie.  Hoping that I am one of the few who are reading less over the years, but I am afraid I’m not alone.  The story in my mind was exciting and easy to envision.  Why not make it on the big screen?

True to her roots, Sally brings in elements of witchcraft that give the readers insights into the world of witches, real ones.  Sure there is a lot of things that are fantasy in the book, but the descriptions of the beliefs, tools and ways are respectful and honest.  This is a great read for those unfamiliar and those who have been practicing for years. Its not just a book for witches.  The story is enticing and entertaining for all, but I have to appreciate the approach given to the ways of the craft.  Hoping it assists a few understand what the religion is truly about and that it is nothing to be feared or be ashamed of.  Her experience and knowledge that made her non-fiction book so great, assist in setting the scene for this novel.  Also love the mythological references tossed in along with poking fun at a few popular paranormal themes.  Honestly I want to discuss a few aspects, but I’d rather not ruin any of the plot or spoil the fun of watching it unfold.

This novel was truly inspiring.  One of those things where you are delighted to find that you loose a couple of hours in without realizing it.   I’m thankful it is a series since I didn’t want the paragraphs to end, but I’m dreading the wait in between books!  I’m ready to rejoin Cassie & the other characters to see what happens next.  Hopefully the wait won’t be too long.

So thankful that I was gifted the book at just the right time.  Within a couple of days I finished the entire thing.  Just like I used to do when I read often!  I’m going to take it as a sign that this year is off to a great start and I will end the year with many more stories read instead of just viewed on a screen.

So the reading goal is going good.

What about all the others?

General goals for the coming year & next few months…

  • Purge 100 things from my world within the first 2 days of 2012
  • 100 Days challenge – 100 days straight of intentional moving 30 minutes each day - what a total pain in the ass.  But its happening. Thought I was going to skip a day last night getting home so late, but I did 30 minutes of the Wii Fit, which counts.  Got to find the fun in this sooner or later.
  • 10 on 10 – give $10 to a non-profit each month on the 10th – tomorrow is the first one this year & I can’t wait.
  • Read more! - Finished the first book of the year!
  • Budget each month prior to the month & stick with it - watching every penny & tracking where it all goes.

As for the more traditional resolutions:

  • Try one new thing each week – this past week I actually READ my credit report.  Actually was surprised that I was much harder on myself than it appears that the 3 agencies are.  Knowledge is power!
  • Cook something each week – Made Garlic Brown Sugar Chicken this week.
  • Take one photo I love each week – 
  • Continue my love affair with Post Crossing sent out a couple more & looking forward to some arriving soon.
  • Floss daily – good so far
  • Meditate more – at least weekly – just 20 minutes, but done
  • Daily food picture –  366 dishes – I missed catching a picture on Saturday, but its a habit.  And yes an eye opener.
  • Spend an hour with someone else outside of work each week – caught up with a friend.

To Catch a Shooting Star

Tonight is the first meteor shower of the year… not even sure I will see it, but hoping too.  Been a while & frankly I am feeling like I could use the chance to wish on a couple of shooting stars.

Even better would be to catch a photo of one, but that may be for another time.

Long day at work with barely a moment to breath.  More than a few New Years resolutions must have been to get a new jobs.  The phone didn’t seem to stop ringing and with the receptionist out still sick, we all had to fill in along with the hectic other duties and playing catch up from a long weekend.

Maybe I should have gotten more sleep last night, but the insomnia let me be lucky enough to see a few snowflakes fall!  Believe it or not snow did actually fall.. for just a little while.

Along with the freezing temperatures, the pain in my hand decided to amp it up a few notches.  Feels like I injured it again, but by now I realize this is par for the course in the winter.  A bit strange how weather can effect a person’s body so much, even in the age of heaters & insulated walls.

With the pain, come the reminder of why it hurts.  A slap in the face that no matter what, it will never be what it was.  Feels like a defeat.  I know it was more of a roll of the dice than anything I did, but at times I just want to be able to go back and not go out that night.  There is no reason to waste time or energy on the could have, would have & should have, but now and then my mind drifts back. 

Talking with my mom tonight she tried to comfort me by saying “you were a victim, there was nothing you could have done different.  things just happen and we deal.”  With all she is dealing with, with all so many other people are struggling against, my achy hand seems insignificant.  I truly could always be worse.  Still at the moment I just would like to scream a little.  

Thankfully I know this will pass soon.


Soon it will warm up & I will forget again.

Also thanks to others who dare to speak the unspoken, I know my downs are not anything that are abnormal.  I’m not alone.

Amazed by a blog I found not long ago when I read a very honest post dealing with someone else who endures a few darker moments now and then.  I also have witnessed the posts where she shows how brightly she can sparkle.

Guess we all ebb and flow.

Just have to make the wishes while we can and move on when they are unrealistic.  So maybe I will bundle up and go see the stars tonight.  Screw the pain, we all deserve some pleasure as often as possible.

Off to a Good Start

Shopping trip was a partial success!

Nope no sports bar but I did finally find my planner for the year.  Not even close to what I thought I would get, but I think I love it! Even got a book – audio book, but its a book.

So progress…

General goals for the coming year & next few months…

  • Purge 100 things from my world within the first 2 days of 2012 DONE & DONE.  Maybe this is something I should do on the first couple days of every month.
  • 100 Days challenge – 100 days straight of intentional moving 30 minutes each day - two days down, 98 to go! Dusted off the Wii Fit for kicks tonight. That thing has quite the attitude! But it was fun to virtual run thru that weebles village.  No clue why but eh, why not.
  • 10 on 10 – give $10 to a non-profit each month on the 10th
  • Read more! - Off to a good start & enjoying that I found another book by Paulo Coelho deeply discounted last night. Can’t wait to start listening to it. For now, just flipping pages in a few previously started reads. …& blogs.  Lots and lots of blogs.
  • Budget each month prior to the month & stick with it - so far so good.  Actually shocked to realize that pay day is only a couple of days away! I can do this.

As for the more traditional resolutions:

  • Try one new thing each week
  • Cook something each week – Made Garlic Brown Sugar Chicken yesterday & hoping to make it again soon. Very delish! Might do a post on it.
  • Take one photo I love each week
  • Continue my love affair with Post Crossing another 8 postcards sent out today & moved the ones I have received to a box.  Maybe next week the organization & mapping.
  • Floss daily – so far so good. 
  • Meditate more – at least weekly
  • Daily food picture –  366 dishes has some new images & I think this is going really help me look at what I am eating in a whole different light.
  • Spend an hour with someone else outside of work each week

Want to come up with a cool way to track these instead of posting every little detail, but that will come.

Oh & I totally forgot to post a picture of my New Years hat!

Perfect hat huh?  Glitter & PANTHERS colors!!!  Still a bit sad the season is over, but looking forward to next season being a much longer & more exciting one!  Plus I just love this cheap hat!  My parents got it for me last year & it made it through all of 2011 to shine again for 2012.  Still sparkling just as bright.  Maybe it will bring in 2013 & who knows make an appearance at a home game!

Tomorrow its back to work.  The last of the 4 day work weeks for a while.  Completely could get used to this, but with all the added pressure & chaos it really hasn’t felt like I have been working less.  I’m so grateful for this weekend & not trying to rush to Charlotte or cram a bunch of plans with friends into the mix.  Would have had a blast and I’m sure made some treasured memories, but I didn’t even realize how much I needed to just be in my own space for a while.  Nothing like no plans for a few days & no where to be.  Still time to kick this life back to reality.  Starting with a nice whole night’s sleep followed by that alarm bright and early.  Got the coffee cup ready to go guessing I will be needing it tomorrow morning.

Hoping the coffee will help fuel me to remember to push the trash out to the curb.  All that decluttering has that thing packed.  Hoping to make a drop off at goodwill tomorrow too.  Just one step closer to where I want to be.

Guess the holidays are finally over.  Here’s to another round survived!

New Day, New Life, New Me

Resolutions, schmesolutions… you can change for good anytime, not just on New Years! Still they are quite fun!

Yesterday I shared a few general goals for the coming year & next few months…

  • Purge 100 things from my world within the first 2 days of 2012 (54 things out of my life so far! Going to hustle today on those other 46.)
  • 100 Days challenge – 100 days straight of intentional moving 30 minutes each day (S0 far so good! That Kindle Fire is staring me down on Day 101!)
  • 10 on 10 – give $10 to a non-profit each month on the 10th
  • Read more! (couple pages deeper into a book I started last year)
  • Budget each month prior to the month & stick with it (Staying home yesterday & spending no cash helped with this!)

Today I share a few of what some may call resolutions.  For me that term seems to have this stigma of defeat.  So many are broken before the first calender page comes off.  For me its less about what I am giving up or changing & more about how I can live better.

  • Try one new thing each week
  • Cook something each week
  • Take one photo I love each week
  • Continue my love affair with Post Crossing, but start mapping where all they came from – got the box to organize better, now need the map
  • Floss daily (was inspired by Gluten Hate’s Me’s post & have to say I love the Sticky Idea for the reminder daily!)
  • Meditate more – at least weekly
  • Daily food picture (follow along? 366 dishes – could be breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack,.. you just never know with me!)
  • Spend an hour with someone else outside of work each week

Today has been a late start thanks to another night dealing with the night terrors.  Realize that I have been slack with the meds, which isn’t a bad thing since some shouldn’t be taken with the alcohol – like no Ambien this weekend!  Still I as far as sometimes I think I come, there is always set backs to move past.  Strange how sometimes you wish you could stay in a dream forever yet some you can’t get away from fast enough.   Hoping those end soon as I get back on track.

Off to finally get a day planner for 2012 and hoping to find a decent sports bra on sale.  The couple I actually own are just pointless & with a certain semi-annual sale happening, maybe I will finally find one that does more for me than just turning the girls into a smushed up uniboob.

Best of luck to everyone who is setting resolutions and goals.

Lets all be realistic here & make the first thing on our lists to be ACCEPT OURSELVES.  We can enhance & improve & change the daily schedules, but ultimately we will be who we are, which isn’t always a bad thing – even if its not who are expected or influenced to be.

Be You

Hoping that we all make changes for the better this year & that 2013 finds us improved and more of who we truly are supposed to be.